REVIEW DATE: 3:16:9:9
REVIEW DATE: 3:16:9:9
Ah, the '60s, that magical time of Rolling Stones, pet stones, and getting stoned. The decade, despite everything else that went on, did produce some good movies, that you must admit.
Unfortunately most of those good movies were produced in the mid to late '60s. Movies from the early '60s, however, still reeked of the same stink that permeates movies from the 50s. And we all know how much Dr. Psy loves America sci-fi movies from the 50s don't we? Don't we?!
Enough of my stalling, lets just get it over with. Admiral Nelson (Walter Pidgeon) has built, and is currently testing a new supersub called the Seaview. Though some have termed it "Nelson's folly" the sub is a success and completes both its test run and its inspection at the hands of Dr. Susan Hiller (Joan Fontaine) and Congressman Parker (Howard MacNear). Just in time for the world to end, too.
Well of course the world is ending, what else did you expect from an early 60's sci-fi movie? An asteroid has bounced to close to our atmosphere and ignited a belt of radiation, causing the world to be surrounded in a ring of fire. This is where the movie begins to break apart as any person with half a brain in the audience realizes that fire, which needs air, can not burn in space (are you listening, Michael Bay?).
Seams that somebody forgot to tell Irwin Allan when he wrote the script (he's also the director by the by) since no one bothers to point this out in the movie. The Seaview's captain, Crane (Robert Sterling) just takes the news in stride, and orders the ship to sail to New York City (New York City!?) for an emergency meeting of the UN with which Admiral Nelson is to join. He's one of the finest scientific minds in the world ya know, after all he designed a sub! Now there's a scientific feat!
During the UN meeting (which shows us that the floor of the United Nations is only twenty-five feet by twenty-five feet wide) Nelson and another scientific big wig become at odds over a plan to stop the ring of fire. Nelson thinks that a missile fired into the belt just right will deflect the sucker out of its orbit around the earth. Scientific big wig guy (okay, I admit it, I didn't write down his name) thinks that the belt will burn itself out when it gets to 175 degrees. Unfortunately it only takes 180 degrees before you wind up with a Kentucky fried world. Nelson, needless to say, isn't willing to wait that long. So, against orders, he takes the Seaview out of port and heads strait for prime shooting territory, which just happens to be on the other side of the world.
Wow, I almost made that sound interesting didn't I? To be fair I was interested up until that point. After that though. . .
Personally, I think this movie's greatest failing is its actors. Yes, yes, I know, "The movie was made in the 60's, cut it some slack," blah, blah, blah. Just because it was made in the '60s is no excuse for not having character in your characterization. Besides, even for the '60s the acting on display here is sub-par
Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, acting; it bites, period. Just like in the 50's the few women we have in the cast are worthless, sniveling wimps. The men are two fisted heros who have two facial expressions: flat and a stupid, rubber faced grin that makes my cheeks hurt just thinking about it. Imagine the Joker from the original Batman movie and you get the idea.
If bad actors weren't bad enough we also have a bad script behind them. My little plot synapsis above only accounts for one third of the full movie, the rest is taken up by the Seaview's quest to reach its destination and is so badly paced at times I found myself counting the number of potato chip crumbs that had fallen onto my shirt (12, I'm a messy eater sometimes). To make things even worse characters here have all the depth of a flat panel display screen, one of those things the Telletubbies have in their stomachs (click here for more on those little monsters).
Yet, beyond the sheer badness on display here this movie does trot out some good things. I'm not a bit surprised to find that the one actor who manages to add depth to his character is none other then Peter Lorre. Yes, that Peter Lorre. How the mighty have fallen, huh? And we have a villain in all this too, none other then Michael Ansara. He plays a doom saying sailor that the Seaview rescues on its way to New York. You'll know him when you see him, he's the one who looks like Satan.
Yet, unless you just love bad movies, you might want to pass Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea by, especially considering some of Irwin Allan's other works. Mr. Allan has worked on, and direct such great crap TV series as The Time Tunnel, Land of Giants, and. . .Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. Those of you out there who watch the Sci-fi channel know the quality of such shows, and as far as I can tell the Sci-fi has sense dropped Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea from its library of crap. I can only hope that the guy who suggested that anything this movie spawned see the light of day again got the shaft too.
RATING (OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE)
IT WAS BAD IN IT'S OWN TIME, AND ITS EVEN WORSE IN MINE.