Being married was like being together, in ~a raft on a river,

sometimes rowing,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~sometimes drifting quietly along.~

~Upon hearing rapids~~~^`~ we would pull over to the bank to secure the raft.

Then, climb to a vantage point where we could check the course ahead.~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^~~~^^~~~^~~

~ Sometimes, exploring singularly. Knowing one's partner was gently cheering the other on.

Offering soft words of encouragement.~

~ Other times, listening quietly, watching, trusting, believing.~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When my partner died it was as if I was suddenly cast from the river and our secure raft

into the~~~~ depths of the ocean.~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~But I didn't know how to swim!!~~~~~~~~~~~~

~I relied on the support of others Holding me up,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

preventing me from sinking~~~~~~~forever,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~to the depths of the ocean.~~~

~As I grew stronger, I climbed back in the raft, and rowed to the mouth of the river.~

~Rowing valiantly and fiercely unable to return to the place I most longed to be.~

~ Disheartened, tearfully seeking others more wise than I~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Faith, family, friends, classes and books ~~~supporting me~~while I ~~~~~~~bobbed,~~~~~~

seemingly endlessly alone, on the ocean.~

~Out there, just beyond~~~~~~~~ the reach of the~~~~~~~~~ river, wondering ~~~~~~~ what to do.

~Longing, with all my heart to be a part of the river of life again.~

~Time went on~~ I was not so afraid of the activities of the ocean.~

~Finally, realizing ~ God~ held me and my tiny raft securely in the palm of his hand.

~~~~~~{{{{me}}}}~~~~~~~~

~Sometimes, I rested and sunned my weary self on the raft.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In time,~~~~~~~I grew curious ~~**~~about the ocean and ventured

out of my raft into ~~~~~~~the depths of the ocean.~~~~

Exploring the depth and beauty of a world ~~~@~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~

far beyond anything I had ever~~~~known before.~~~~~~~~~~~@*~~~~+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Other times, I fought to survive the torrential rains and winds~#!`~#@~

that threatened my balance~!!!~^^#^!~~and being~~~#!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~In despair, crying out to God. "WHY"? "why?~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~"why"~~~~~~~

~Eventually, Realizing I *had to * go *~through~* the storms while continuing to believe~ somehow, someday,

~ I would be back on the river.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Then it occurred to me that I had to let go~ of my old life,

(not forget it but file it away in a very special place).~

~The only way to reach my new life required complete surrender, trust and transformation.~

~So, I gave myself back to~ God.~~

~ Envisioning myself evaporating from the ocean up into the atmosphere, becoming a cloud.~

~Allowing my new self to be blown back across the earth's valley's

and mountains, to the place I could re-enter the earth as rain.'`'`'`'`'`'`

~ My tears were the rain.~'''`''''`'''` `'`'`'`'

~The tears pooled~in a reservoir, deep within the earth.

Eventually becoming a spring@ rooted in the mountain side.~ /@\

~In time, this spring ~@~ bubbled up ~`@`~and began to run

and '~'{{{dance}}} `~`~"~`~~~` down the side of the`~ "mountains~"`

until,'"*~``finally*~`reaching*~~` the river*~`~once~*`~again**`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Terri JD ~(  )~
Tikiana_404@msn.com

A Tribute to Philip

The tears still fall don't ask me why...
The tears still fall the anger flies...
The pain is real the fear I feel...
Death is near it's in my soul...
I cant I cant never let go...
You left on a warm summer day never to come back never to stay....
Did we say goodbye, it slips my mind...
Did I even kiss you one last time...
I don't remember I can't recall, was it in the kitchen or in the hall....?
My brain is blank, my heart is cold, I feel like I'm a hundred and fifty
years old.....I hate this life, I hate this day, I wish it would all
just go away..... I'm feeling low I know it shows but I'll be fine if I just let go....
Will it be soon or years from today? I can not tell but I'll forever pay...

One year ago I kissed you and said goodbye...
my spirit was set free and yet I can not fly...
For you my Angel Man must let me go, I need to fly
please say good bye and always remember its your love I shall remember...
I need to be let free to reach my destiny...
I will never forget the love you have for me, for it's your love that sets me free...
Please let go and say good bye but please my Angel man, do not cry..
I have earned my wings and I am set free...
Now kiss me one last time and say good bye so this Angel girl can really fly.....

Patti Ambrose

I asked God

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I may learn to obey.
I asked for health, that I might learn to do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given Life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for --- but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men, most richly blessed

Unknown

Discovery!!

Today I smiled, and all at once
Things didn't look so bad.
Today I share with someone else,
A bit of hope I had.
Today I sang a little song,
And felt my heart grow light,
And walked a happy little mile,
With not a cloud in sight.
Today I worked with what I had
And longed for nothing more,
And what had seemed like only weeds,
Were flowers at my door.
Today I loved a little more,
Complained a little less,
And in the giving of myself,
Forgot my weariness.

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God has laid you see
I took his hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all

I could not stay another day, to laugh, to love, to work or play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found that peace
at the close of the day.

If my parting has left a void
then fill it with remembered joys
a friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Oh yes, these things I to shall miss

Be not burned with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full I've savored much
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch

Perhaps my time seemed all to brief
don't lengthen it now with undue grief
lift up your hearts and soul to thee
God wanted me now

Unknown