Local Yokel's Yakaboomba Trail

This page is dedicated to my Dad, he is an inherant story teller. No matter where we went, he would tell us stories of when he was growing up, be they true or false, he has a story about anything. Dad would take us, or any other kids on a walk and teach us about life, and the walk was down the Yakaboomba Trail, it didn't matter if we were in the city or in the bush, there was a Yakaboomba Trail where ever he was. All the cousins and grandchildren have experienced the Yakaboomba Trail too, coming home stained with berry juices, and a sparkle in their eyes for the outrageous stories they heard, (did you know we have healing cows in Canada? All we have to do is go out to the field and "lop" off a roast for dinner, and the cow will heal itself in a matter of days.) Growing up learning from my Dad, I too tell my kids "stories", usually when they have "why'd" me to distraction, and the answer "zed", (follows "why" in the alphabet) won't suffice. Here then are lies...ooops, stories I have told my children, and other parents have told theirs....This page will be updated bi-weekly, so please come back soon.

Driving home from a Little League Baseball game with a carload of wound up kids having won their 5th straight game in a row is nerve wracking to say the least, so when one of them asked where and how Baseball originated...I couldn't resist...
The Origin of Baseball
"Baseball started in the days of the caveman, you have all seen the drawings of cavemen carrying clubs, right?"
"Yeah" a bunch of voices echoed from the backseat...they knew what was coming and they settled down to listen.
"Well, those cavemen used those clubs as weapons in the hunting of their food so they could survive. One day, a few of those folks were out hunting together because it was easier to hunt with others than alone, when they spotted their prey, it was a nice sized deer. They quietly stalked and got closer to the deer and were just about to get it when one of the cavemen swung the club and swacked his neighbor in the head. The neighbors head went sailing through the air and landed about 20 feet away."
"Now don't forget that the pictures you have seen have the club shaped roughly like a baseball bat, right?"
"Right" they answered.
"Well, the other cavemen thought the sailing head was pretty funny. Don't forget that their mentally was not as good as ours, because we would never do something like that. Right?"
"Right" they answered. I had to clarify the fact that bashing other people in the head with a bat isn't exactly smiled upon nowadays.
"Okay, these cavemen went and got the head and threw it up in the air and took turns swinging their club and hitting it. It didn't take long before there wasn't anything left of the head, so they went back to their hunting, and forgot about the fun they had."
"A few weeks later, the same bunch of cavemen were again out hunting, and again someone got his head knocked off, they remembered what a good time they had the last time, so again, they took turns throwing the head up and swinging their clubs at it, and again the head didn't last long. It was starting to get a bit frustrating that they couldn't play for any length of time, so they chose one of them to come up with an idea of how to make the game last longer."
"Well, he thought and he thought and he thought, lets remember that these folks weren't all that smart, he tried melons, nope...one hit and game over, he tried tomatoes, nope, only one hit there too. He thought some more, he tried potatoes and oranges and apples, nothing worked."
"Then again the group went out hunting, and they came across a dried up head of a dead animal, something small like a weasel or a mink. The one who was supposed to be thinking of how to prolong the "fun" took the dried head and threw it up into the air, swung his club and that head went soaring! That is how baseball originated, of course it has been refined over the years as people have become smarter to become the game you kids play today."

Twisted Responses
"You know what?"
"Yeah, he signs all the light bulbs."

"You know what I don't understand?"
"Yeah, Japanese."

"Why is it called a tree?"
"Because it isn't called George."

"Why does that baby drool so much?"
"Because it doesn't have any teeth to use as a fence to keep the spit in."

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page

If you have any outrageous stories or lies that you wouldn't mind sharing, please let me know. Thanks! I love e-mail !!! localyokel@geocities.com Or rpolten@mb.sympatico.ca

"Local Yokels Homepage"