Ain't Gonna Rain No More

Mary had a little lamb, so goes the tale of yore.
She loved that little lamb so much, she passed the plate for more.
*
A bullfrog sat on a lily pad, looking up in the sky.
He fell right off that lily pad, and got water in his eye.
*
Oh, a peanut sat on a railroad track, it's heart was all a-flutter.
Along came the 5:05 - Oops! peanut butter.
*
A cow walked on the railroad track, the train was coming fast.
The train got off the railroad track to let the cow go past!
*
I woke up in the morning, I glanced upon the wall.
The roaches and the bedbugs were having a game of ball.
*
The score was six to nothing, the roaches were ahead.
A bedbug hit a home run and knocked me out of bed!
*
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collar bone.
We think that he should tend the sick and leave the well alone.
*
A farmer slipped on the old barn roof when rotten boards gave way,
And as as he fell, he shrugged and said, "It's time to hit the hay."
*
Humpty Dumpty fell right down and landed on his head,
So, all the horses and the men had scrambled eggs and bread.

All God's Creatures

Listen to the bass, it's the one on the bottom,
Where the bullfrog croaks and hippopotamus
Moans and groans with a big to-do,
The old cow just goes "moo."
*
The dogs and the cats, they take up the middle,
The honey bee hums and crickets fiddle,
The donkey brays and pony neighs,
And the old coyote howls.
*
Listen to the top where the little birds sing,
On the melody where the high notes ring,
The hoot owl hollers over everything,
And the jay bird disagrees.
*
Singing in the night time, singing in the day,
The little duck quacks and is on his way.
The possum ain't got much to say,
And the porcupine talks to himself.
*
It's a simple song of living sung everywhere,
By the ox and fox and grizzly bear,
The grumpy alligator and the hawk above,
The sly raccoon and the morning dove.

Alligator

*Chorus: Alligator! Alligator!
Can be your friend, can be your friend, can be your friend too!
Alligator! Alligator!
Can be your friend, can be your friend, can be your friend too!

The alligator is my friend, he can be your friend too.
But what you've got to understand is he has feelings too.
*
The alligators always green, he never sings the blues.
Id rather wear him on my shirt than wear him for my shoes.
*
The alligator ate my friend he can eat your friend too.
But what you've got to understand is he eats dinner too. *

And the Green Grass Grew All Around

Now in the ground (Now in the ground)
There was a hole (There was a hole)
The prettiest hole (The prettiest hole)
That you ever did see (That you ever did see)
The hole in the ground
*

(seed in the hole, root in the seed, tree in the root, limb on the tree, branch on the limb, twig on the branch, nest on the twig, egg in the nest, bird in the egg, wing on the bird, feather on the wing, flea on the feather, germ on the flea, elephant on the germ)

The Bubblegum Song

My mom gave me a penny
To see Jack Benny
I did not see Jack Benny
I bought some bubblegum
*
My mom gave me a nickle
To buy a pickle
I did not buy a pickle
I bought some bubble gum
*
My mom gave me a dime
To buy a lime
I did not buy a lime
I bought some bubblegum
*
My mom gave me a quarter
To buy some water
I did not buy some water
I bought some bubblegum
*
My mom gave me a dollar
To buy a dog collar
I did not buy a collar
I bought some bubblegum
*
My mom gave me a spanking
For buying all that bubblegum
I did not cry tears
I cried bubblegum!
*

Camp Hoffman Boogee

Ladies and gents and campers too
Camp Hoffman’s got a boogee for you
You gotta turn around, you gotta touch the ground
You gotta step back, step back and boogee on down
*
Went to Roof tree to eat some cake
Then I thought about the kapers that I ate the whole place!
*
Went to Canterberry to ride a horse
Came back walking like this of course!
*
Went to waterfront, thought I'd sail
But all I did, was bail, bail, bail!
*
Went to the nurse, to get a pill
Came back feeling, mighty ill!
*
Went to Rabbit Hole, to make a craft
When I came back, all they did was laugh!
*

The Cannibal King

The Cannibal King with the big nose ring
Fell in love with a Hula maid
And every night by the pale moonlight
It sounds like this to me
*
The years went by a-one-two-three
And soon they had a family
And every night by the pale moonlight
It sounds like this to me-e-e
* (A wump Ma Ma! A wump Pa Pa!)
The years went by a-four-five-six
And soon they had a mighty fine fix
And every night by the pale moonlight
It sounds like this to me-e-e
* (A wump Did-not! A wump Did-too!)
The years went by an-eight-nine-ten
And soon they were alone again
And every night by the pale moonlight
It sounds like this to me-e-e
* (A wump (silence) A wump (silence))

The Cat Came Back

Old man Johnson had troubles of his own,
He had a yellow cat that just wouldn’t leave his home,
He tried and he tried to give that cat away,
Gave it to a man going far, far away, but...
*
He gave it to a man going way out West
Told him to give it to the one he loved the best
First the train hit the curve, then it jumped the rail
And no is alive to tell the gruesome tale, but...
*
He gave it to a man going up in a balloon
Told him to take it to the man in the moon
The balloon came down about 90 miles away
And where that man is today, I cannot say, but...
*
He gave it to a little boy with a dollar note
Told him to take it up the river in a boat
Tied a rope around it’s neck; It must wieghed a hundred pounds
And now they drag the river for the little boy that drowned, but...
*
The man around the corner said he’d shoot the cat on site
He loaded up his shotguns with rounds of dynamite
He waited and he waited for that cat to come around
And 97 pieces of man are all they found, but...
*
The A-bomb fell just the other day
The H-bomb fell in the very same way
England went, Russia went, and the USA
The human race was destroyed without a chance to pray, but...
*

The Cheese Song

It's cheese, it's cheese, it's cheese that makes the world go 'round
It's cheese, it's cheese, it's cheese that makes the world go 'round
It's cheese that makes the world go 'round
*

Additional verses:
It's cheese...that make the mice go 'round
It's mice...that make the cats go 'round
It's cats...that make the dogs go 'round
It's dogs...that make the boys go 'round
It's boys...that makes the girls go 'round
It's girls...that makes the love go 'round
It's love...that makes the world go 'round
It's cheese...that makes the world go 'round

Chocolate Chip Cookies

They're made out of sugar and butter and flour;
You put 'em in the oven about a quarter hour,
But the thing that gives them their magic power
Is the chocolate chips inside.
*
You can't eat one, you can't eat two;
Once you start chewing, there's nothing to do
But clean your plate, and eat the crumbs too,
Then go and find some more.
*
Now when I die, I don't want wings,
A golden halo or a harp that sings.
Just a book, a fire and someone that brings
Chocolate chip cookies all day.

Crazy Rabbit

*Chorus: Hop, hop, bunny, bunny
Hop, hop, bunny, bunny
Hop, hop, ho, ho, hop, hop

I have a rabbit; a crazy, crazy rabbit
*
He don’t like carrots; I’m crazy about carrots
*
When I go to beddy bye;
I kiss he and he kiss I
But if he’s been a such and such;
he has to sleep in the rabbit hutch
I love a rabbit; a crazy, crazy rabbit

Dem Bones

*Chorus: I know it, know it
Indeed I know it, brother
I know it - Whee!
Dem bones gonna rise again!

Lord he'd thought he'd make a man
So he took a little water and he took a little sand
Thought he'd make a woman too
But he didn't know quite what to do
*
Took a rib from Adam's side
And made Miss Eve to be his bride
Placed them in a garden square
Told them to eat whatever was there
*
"To one tree you must not go.
Leave them apples there to grow."
Serpent coiled around the trunk
At Miss Eve his eye he wunk
*
First she took a little pull
Then she filled her fig leaf full
Adam took a little slice
Smacked his lips and said "Twas nice!"
*
Lord, he came a walking 'round
Saw those apples all over the ground
"Adam, Adam, where art though?"
"Here I am Lord, comin' 'round now"
*
"Been eatin' my apples, I believe"
"No, my Lord, twas Miss Eve"
"From this garden, you must get.
And earn your living by your sweat"
*
Set an angel at the door
Told them to never come back no more
This is the end, there ain't now more
'Cause Eve got the apple and Adam got the core
*

Desperado

*Chorus: Oh, what a big bold man was this Desperado
From Cripple Creek way out in Cororado.
And he horsed around like a big tornado
And everywhere he went he gave his war cry

There was a Desperado from the wild and wooly west.
He road into Chicago just to give the west a rest.
He wore a big somberero and two pistols by his side
And everywhere he went he gave his war cry
*
He went to Coney Island just to check out all the sights
He saw the hoochie coochie and the girls all dressed in tights.
It got him so excited that he shot out all the lights
And everywhere he went he gave his war cry
*
There was a big policeman just a walking down the street.
He saw that Desperado just a walking down the street.
He took him by the collar and he took him by the seat
And threw him where he couldn’t give his war cry
*

Funky Chicken

Leader: Let me see you funky chicken!
Response: What’s that you say?
Leader: Let me see you funky chicken!
Response: What’s that you say? I said....

Additional verses:
Dracula (one arm up in front of face as if a cape was draped over it, peek out from behind arm, then repeat with other arm)
Orangutan (dance around like a monkey)
Elvis Presley (swivel hips and make an Elvis face)
Cleopatra (walk like an Egyptian!)
John Travolta (a Saturday Night Fever stance)
Ballerina (dance like a ballerina)
Frankenstein (hold up arms in front of you like you are a zombie)
Dying bug (lie on back and kick arms and legs)
Polka (poke the person beside you)

Going to Day Camp

*Chorus: Going to Day Camp,
So don't you cry for me.
I'll come back good and dirty,
So you'll never know it's me.

I scrubbed the night before I left,
My hair was nice and clean.
My mother was so proud of me,
But not for long you see.
*
While hiking out at day camp,
I found the perfect pet.
But I had to leave my friend behind,
Because he scared the Vet.

Grandma’s Feather Bed

When I was a little bitty boy,
Just up off the floor,
We used to go down to Grandma’s house
Every month end or so
We’d have chicken pie and country ham
And homemade butter on the bread
But the best darn thing about Grandma’s house
Was the great big feather bed
*
After supper we’d sit around the fire
And the old folks would spit and chat
Pa would talk about the farm and the war
And granny’d sing a ballad or two
Well I’d sit and listen and watch the fire
‘Til the cobwebs filled my head
The next think I know I’d wake up in the morning
In the middle of that old feather bed
*
Well, I love my ma, I love my pa
Love Granny and Grandpa too,
I’ve been fishing with my uncle,
Wrestled with my cousin,
And I even kissed Aunt Lou...OOO!
But if I ever had to make a choice
I guess it has to be said
I’d trade them all, plus the gal down the road
For Grandma’s feather bed!
*

Herman the Worm

And I said, "Herman, baby, What happened?"
And he said, "Duh, I ate my dad"
And the very next day
*
And I said "Herman, baby, What happened?"
And he said, "Duh, I ate my mom"
And the very next day
*
And I said "Herman, baby, What happened?"
And he said, "Duh, I ate my brother"
*
And I said, "Herman, baby, What happened?"
And he said, "Duh, I ate my sister"
*
And I said, "Herman, baby, What happened?"
And he said, "Duh, I BURPED!"

Hill Billy Will

When my Hill Billy Will comes a-riding down the hill
I just can't get my shoes on fast enough, fast enough!
When he kisses my cheek I could sleep for a week
How I love my Hill Billy Will
* When my Hill Billy Will comes a-riding down the hill
I just can't get my shoes on fast enough, fast enough!
When he kisses my nose I get red down to my toes
How I love my Hill Billy Will
* (When he kisses my nose I get red down to my toes)
When my Hill Billy Will comes a-riding down the hill
I just can't get my shoes on fast enough, fast enough!
When he kisses my hand I say, "Gosh, what a man!"
How I love my Hill Billy Will
* (When he kisses my hand I say, "Gosh, what a man!")

Humpty Dump

*Chorus: Humpty dump, hump, humpty dumpty dumpty
Humpty dump, hump, humpty dumpty dumpty

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown and
Uggg! Ain't that funky now!
*
Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
Uggg! Ain't that funky now!
*
-Mary, Mary quite contrary
-A,B,C
-Humpty Dumpty
-Hey Diddle Diddle
-Little Jack Horner
-Little Miss Muffet

I'm a Nut

I learned this song when I was in 6th grade when I went into a new troop. I never knew the end part (Pepsi-Cola...) until a couple of years later.