TOP 10 SIGNS YOU ARE NOT CUT OUT TO BE A STARTER

  1. On exposure to loud noises you curl up like a frightened armadillo
  2. Uncontrollable urge to break into your own medley of songs whenever you are handed a microphone
  3. Tendency to point Starter's pistol and fire at Swimmers guilty of false start
  4. Bladder problem that frequently results in an unannounced break between "Take your Marks" and the Starting Signal
  5. Tendency to substitute a 44 Magnum for the Starters pistol whenever the Referee isn't looking
  6. Strong urge to do a little target practice between starts of long swims
  7. Being caught carrying out a little paramutual betting operation behind the Starter's podium
  8. Inability to pretend to be paying attention to the Referee
  9. Threatening Referee with Pistol saying "How fast can you dance" every time she questions your Starting technique
  10. Tendency to play "Russian Roulette" with Starter's pistol when bored at meets


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This page last edited by Duncan Laidlow, June 26,1997. If you would like to see additional information included please contact me at
DuncanVi_Laidlow@bc.sympatico.ca

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