Writing Tips

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague.

6. Also always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are
(usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than
necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should never generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
Parenthetical words however should be enclosed
in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one
would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how
others use them.

25. Understatement is always the absolute best
way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and
omit it when its not needed.

27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson
said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what
you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a
thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one
writer in a million can use it well.

29. Puns are for conversation and children, not
groan readers.

30. Go all around Robin Hood's barn to avoid
colloquialisms.

31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should
be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than
understatement.

34. Proofread carefully to see if you any
words out.