The incessant pressures and demands that the American life commands make growing up, maturing, and living difficult enough for anyone. Adolescence is the biggest challenge of all, as youth are in a hunt for an identity and independence while dealing with constant changes that are occurring around them.For Asian-Americans, the development and identifying processes come as challenges even more complicated. They find themselves torn between a prevalent way of life and a bequeathed traditional culture. While family, friends, and society provide an environment, a milieu, that is pulling the Asian-American in a countless number of directions left and right, he/she feels that the only way is to accept one way or the other, and thus becomes repressed and lost. Sometimes Asian-Americans will sit in denial in order to avoid the tribulation, neglecting the issues that are important in establishing who they are.
Here, we will explore the milieu, the surroundings and situations, of Asian-Americans -- the kind of external pressures they have to deal with day in and day out.
"When I was in pre-school, I made friends with this other girl. We played together all the time. But then one day, she stopped playing with me. When I asked her why she wouldn't play with me anymore, she said her mother told her she wasn't allowed to play with yellow people like me."discrimination
Discrimination exists everywhere in society in all shapes and forms, and it undoubtedly exists against Asian-Americans. However, the discrimination Asian-Americans have to deal with is very particular, in that it is received from different directions.
The above true-life example shows that Asian-Americans can be exposed to discrimination even at a very early age. As an Asian growing up in America, racial slurs and phrases and Asian stereotypes are presented often enough that they almost become "normal." You are even forced to face discrimination from your closest acquaintances. Your best friends crack jokes at you in jest, while your parents prohibit you from doing certain things, going certain places, or being with certain people for fear of "bad influence." You don't know if you should turn against being Asian or turn against being American. Of course, ideally, you shouldn't turn against either side, yet the situation may force you to feel like you have to.
Even minor and small things become everyday annoyances:
"Wow, I'm impressed, you speak English well!"
["Duh, of course I do you, I've spoken the damn language my entire life."]"Where are you from?"
"I'm from Virginia."
[blank look] "Oh, I mean... where are you from originally?"
"I was born in the States."
[another blank look] "Then what are you?""Ni Hao! Ni Hao Ma?" -- random person or person you just met.
["Look, just because I'm ASIAN doesn't mean I speak Chinese."]"Do you know Kung Fu? Ping-Pang, Hi-Yah!"
[look at above example, substituting 'speak Chinese' with 'know Kung Fu']Here are some racial terms arising from discrimination and stereotypes:
Chink In reference to an Asian's eyes. Dictionary definition: A narrow opening or slit. Gook Originating in Korea either by referring Korea's original name, "Hanguk", or during the Korean War when Koreans would ask American GI's "Mi Guk?" ("American?" in Korean) which sounded like they were saying "Me gook". Buckethead Of all Asian groups, Koreans are said to have the biggest heads. Nammer Derived from Vietnam being called "Nam". Viet Cong Originated during the Vietnam War (1960-1974), shortened to V.C. Nip Short for Nippon meaning "Japan". Flip In reference to filipinos. Shortened and rearranged term, easier to say. Could also stand for "Funny Little Asian People". Banana/
TwinkieAn Asian-American who has lost their heritage. Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. My definition of being "white". FOB "Fresh Off the Boat". Applies mainly to Asian immigrants who are (obvioiusly) just coming into America. My definition of being "yellow". What discrimination does is annoy and enrage, and even deprecate the Asian-American self-image. Constant name-calling, harrassment, and bantering can cause Asian-Americans to subconciously feel resentment towards who they are, be it Asian and/or be it American.
How do Asian-Americans handle discrimination? Simple and obvious answers (i.e. just don't care, man) fail to solve, because once discrimation on one end is shut out, it is then received from the other, and thus entrance into a cycle that goes back and forth. Young Asian-Americans in development do not have the luxury to turn to others as much for help with identifying and finding themselves; if they do look to others, they will most likely be thrown into the cycle. Therefore, Asian-Americans have to rely on and search within themselves for the most part, which complicates their situations many-fold.
"I'm supposed to participate in this annual ceremony that honors my ancestors, or something like that. I'm not quite sure what it is, and I don't even know why I have to do it. I wish people would stop asking me about it, because I really don't know anything. Why do I have to go through these trivial customs and absurd rituals?""I was explaining to my friends the ancient ways the Chinese practiced, including things like arranged marriages and Chinese New Year. My friends were baffled and kept asking me why this and why that and commenting on how nonsensical and stupid everything seemed, and I didn't have an answer. Is it impossible to defend?"
cultural conflict
Another aspect of being Asian-American is a rich Asian heritage that is carried within you. Asian culture greatly differs from American and Western cultures mainly because of the long-standing ancient past that stands behind it and separates it from the ways of the Western world. Embedded in Asian culture are customs and beliefs that are incomprehensible in today's society, which make it difficult for Asian-Americans to join the two together.
A lot of Asian-Americans today are first generation Asian-Americans -- that is, their parents were the ones who immigrated, making them the first generation of their family ancestry to be born in America. First generation Asian-Americans have the toughest time growing up and living in America of all, because it is during this generation that cultural conflict exists the most.
In the first quote, a young Asian-American is being thrust into a cultural custom that he feels is pointless, only because he does not understand it and know where it is coming from. The problem is that Asian-Americans unfamiliar with their situation might develop some type of resentment towards his own culture when they are constantly being "forced" to do cultural things they feel they should not do. This pushes them farther away from their background.
In the second quote, an Asian-American is trying to share his culture with others, but finds it being rejected. And he cannot explain his background, only because he hasn't experienced it first-hand, which makes it difficult for him to feel proud of it. Even if Asian-Americans choose to accept their culture, they might feel hopeless, and even inferior, because others around them are not open to appreciate it.
In both cases, Asian cultural background is treated or viewed as something that is a burden, something that conflicts with how the Asian-American lives in today's fast-paced and changing world. It almost seems impossible to be able to mesh the two together, which is why some are driven to go one way or the other.
What must be realized here is the importance of knowing about, accepting, and feeling pride in your own background and culture, even if it is sparse or seems "useless" in the present. And if you're not familiar with it, then go out and explore it yourself. Talk to your parents, read about it, learn about it, look it up. After all, it is where you came from! A lot of older Asian-Americans say they wish they were exposed to their Asian cultures more in their youth for this very reason.
Don't go overboard though, because you also have to remember that you are growing up in a modern, diverse Western society. It is also important to feel proud of your place and being where you are, because many people in this world would do anything to live the life your are living -- in America. "Live today, remember and understand yesterday." Coming to an understanding of your culture and customs does not mean you have to practice it, believe in it, or even fully accept it. Just becoming aware of it in itself will broaden your mind and allow you to see your situation in a clearer sense.
You can still have knowledge and pride in your Asian culture and live in modern society. Not coming to to terms with your heritage is like not knowing yourself, and therefore like rejecting and denying yourself of your true identity.
