If you're an Asian-American just strolling down the street or minding your own business like anyone else, you might run into a few incidents. Perhaps someone driving or walking by will say nonsense words like "ching chong chang" to you or call out "Hey, Chink!" Maybe people will avoid speaking to you because they don't want to deal with your "accent." Or they might ask you what it's like back in "your country", or even if you really approve of communism.Episodes like these are so common among Asian-Americans that they take it as normal occurrences in their life, as everyday as getting asked for directions at a gas station or Tiger Woods being told he's a good golfer. Even the racial slurs are typical, which just get ignored -- that "whatever" treatment. Asian-Americans are so used to these things that they might have made adjustments in their actions to comply with the incident -- similar to the evolutionary thoery of adaptation.
For example -- I am constantly asked where I'm from. The simple, and true, answer is Charlottesville, Virginia. But this is what I always reply with: "I'm from Charlottesville, Virginia, I was born here, but I'm Chinese and my parents came from..." Much more complicated, right? This is only because I know what people really want to know is what nationality I am. Of course, I learned this is after many, many, many times answering the simple way only to be badgered with even more questions until the interrogator is satisfied with an answer of "Chinese".
I call these everyday annoyances, and here are more examples of them. They are basically caused by stereotypes and ignorance on people's parts.
As "normal" as these incidents may be, they still have an impact. They are, after all, annoyances. While each individual episode is considered trivial, they can add up and turn into substantial effects on the psyche.
Asian-Americans experience conflict out in public, but they, espeicially first generation Asian-Americans, also experience it at home. Because their parents are the ones who immigrated, they still hold cultural views on life. After all, they were raised under a different environment and were instilled with whatever traditions that their Asian community had. Like all other parents, they want to pass down and teach to their children their beliefs and culture. It's emphasized even more so with Asian parents, however, because they believe in the importance of preserving history and tradition.
Usually, the child takes on his or her parents' beliefs and ways of life almost automatically (at first at least). But as an Asian-American child, you question things immediately, because of the critical and strict nature of Asian parents. You might be chided by your parents many times for doing this or that -- it's something children in ___ would never do. You might here your parents complain about this in America or that in American -- it would never happen back where they came from. "You are lucky you are in America. Children your age in ___ would have to ___ or ___ and don't have the luxury you have."
Most children would probably think, who cares? I'm not there, am I? My friends don't have to deal with it, why should I? I'm in America, and therefore I only have to deal with American ways, right? By now you probably know the obvious answer to that question, but as an adolescent, answers don't come so easily. The thing is, claiming that you're "American and nothing else" is the last thing Asian parents want to hear, and some will try as hard as they can to make you avoid the American in you.
The conflict arises in the fact that respecting parents is stressed much more heavily in Eastern cultures. Questioning or talking back to parents is something never done. While Asian-Americans are probably not as devoted to their parents and ancestors as pure Asians are, they do have more respect for their parents than the normal person in America would. This sometimes makes them feel that they have to or should comply with their parents in order to not let them down, even if they aren't in agreement.
Throwing together all these outside influences from society, friends, and family, all kinds of emotions can form within the Asian-American. Here are some (but not nearly all) common emotions that fonflicted Asian-Americans will feel:
annoyance: obviously, from the everday annoyances.
anger: annoyance can turn to anger towards society and even friends, especially if the everyday annoyances get to be too much. "Will they ever get it? Will they ever understand? Just because I'm Asian doesn't mean...!"
confusion: when you're faced to choose between cultures, you might not know what to do because you don't know what you want (or rather, what other people want out of you).
dubiety: indecisiveness was always a characteristic of Asians, which doesn't help the situation at all, does it?
helplessness: when you're confused and constantly shifting back and forth between what to accept and what not to accept, you might in the end feel like you should just give up trying.
discourageness: you can feel troubled and hurt by feeling helpless with your situations. Should you give up? Should you not even bother? Is it worth the trouble?
lack of self-confidence: when you're confused, lost, troubled, and the like, chances are you don't feel very good about yourself. You feel that if you can't handle this, you probably won't be able to handle other situations in your life as well.
repression: if you're trying to please both parents and friends at the same time, something's got to give. Of course, the longer it stays repressed inside of you, the more distraught you become.
self-denial: the fact that you're lost in what to do is not something you want to realize or come to terms with. Plus the fact that you might be denying your Asian or American ways in order to avoid the whole situation in the first place.
