I thought It'd be a laugh to give people the chance to experience the mentality of some of the sad people who've violated my guestbook or sent pathetic email..

1996-97 Season Here's a good one, no prizes for guessing which team he "supports", especially as he lives nowhere near Manchester :

"Well for starters you lame peice (sic) of shit, you should fucking look at your clubs (sic) sad excuse for a trophy cabinet before starting on The Greatest Club that is, ever was,and ever will be.... Your club aint (sic) won jack shit recently so shut the fuck up until you win a trophy or three or even qualify for europe Now if this message is replayed to thousands of Chelsea fans, then so be it but this is not an attack on ALL CHELSEA FANS Just an attack on this pathetic excuse for a supporter LEARN TO SPELL YOU RETARD !!!! "

Oh dear. Perhaps you should check your own spelling before you criticise mine. Your punctuation could do with some work as well. PS. It was nice to be at Old Trafford this season to watch Moan U get a good spanking from a decent team. The way 3,000-odd Chelsea fans drowned out 35,000-odd bored Man U "supporters" was a pleasure to hear.

Here's one from someone calling himself "The Australian Moan U Supporters Club", in the same, sad vein:

"Well when God created the Earth he decided that some poor bastards had better live in the slums ....And He Created CHELSEA !!!!! you should get a fucking life you toffee head.... I cant wait to see you guys get whipped in the cup.... hopefully your supporters bus gets engulfed in flames sometime soon so we are rid of you and your useless scum fellow supporters. Come on Ruud, piss off back to Clogg Land where you belong...We dont want you here anymore, and forget. (But don't forget that Man U whipped ya arses in the cup semi last year......) Soon to Be European Champions...and League Champs For yet another year... "we're gonna win " by brian adams: we dont wanna win we wanna be losers dont wanna win cos wiining really isnt the only thing jump on the ground and give em a free swing we dont wanna be the champions we dont wanna win we cant win cos being scum is everything "

Looks like you're going to have a long and frustrating wait to see us get whipped in the Cup, aren't you ? (Chelsea won it that year - Ed) I hope they showed the Cup Final in Australia, you halfwit. Strangely, you don't mention anything about Moan U winning the Cup this year. Was that an oversight ? Or could it possibly be because they were knocked out by WIMBLEDON ? You won't need reminding that Chelsea easily beat Wimbledon 3-0 in the semi-final, will you ? The slums thing: I'm beginning to suspect that you've never been to England, otherwise you'd know that comparing Chelsea to Manchester, especially the Old Trafford area, is a non-starter. Still, never mind. Most of your fellow "fans" have never been to Manchester either. "Soon to be European Champions". Even the most "diehard" of Moan U supporters (I use the term lightly) would have to agree that Man U have had just the one good match in Europe this season, and have barely survived the preliminary stages. The chances of you winning the European Cup are about as good as Saddam Hussein winning the Nobel Peace Prize. UPDATE: Sadly, I've been proved right by Moan U's craven performance against Borussia Dortmund. It's a real shame that English teams are so shite against European opposition. Believe me, I'd have been delighted if Moan U had won the European Cup for England. (Snigger). Luckily Chelsea are around to salvage English pride in Europe. I'll do you the favour of ignoring the rest of your rant, it speaks for itself. PS: What did God say to the Australians after he created Australia ? "I'll be back in 2,000 years, act dumb until then". You're still waiting for him to turn up, aren't you ?

Here's another Australian entry, complete with original spelling. (what IS it about them ?):

"A very funny page man. Write some more good shit and in english this time. You fucken idiot, wanker, pric. unknown Sickcunt, AKA Shaun Mooney."

I swear, this is EXACTLY as I received it. It really doesn't require any input from me, does it ?

I received this from the so-called "University of Central Lancashire" (Manchester Polytechnic, you mean).
Apparently they didn't like the Moan U page. What a surprise.

"...Just like to say you typify the chelsea buffoons who call their own manager coon and other tasteless draconian names which I feel if I mention I will come down to your level. And what sad twats you are with your wacky gullit wigs and NO I DONT SUPPPORT UNITED you wanker, and we have been to school you BARSTAD."

Phew ! "draconian" ! You obviously haven't been to school, you little Manc fibber, otherwise you wouldn't have used that word so completely out of context. To date I've never heard anyone at Chelsea call Ruud a "coon" while wearing a Gullit wig, but if I do, I'll be the first to complain. Next.

Here's one from someone called Tim Emanuel, I received it the day after Chelsea beat Southampton
in the Coca Cola Cup with a team of 9 reserves. He'd just visited the Moan U page..

"Yeah, gave me a laugh. But please understand, I'm laughing at you, not with you. I'm just curious, do these hilarious 'not from Manchester' jokes really make you laugh every time ?" Yes, like a drain. "It's a bit ironic really, coming from a fan of the ultimate showbiz XI. It seems the Islington (sic) set didn't fancy the Southampton game tonight did they judginf (sic) from the gaps in the stand ? Perhaps it was a bit too chilly tonight ?" Not many of us did go to the match, no (if you call 21,000 not many). You're right, it was a disgrace. Only 2 of the players were regulars, and we still beat Southampton, a team who beat Man U 6-0 in the league last season. (I seem to remember Man U's "fans" blaming the team strip for their performance !!!) Remind me who Moan U were playing - oh sorry, didn't they get knocked out in the preliminary stages of the tournament ? Yuk Yuk. And another thing: calling Chelsea fans "the Islington set" (if it's a dig at living outside the Fulham area) is stunningly hypocritical, given the demographical profile of Moan U fans. If not, at best it betrays a blinding ignorance of geographical locations in London - surprising, considering you're a Man U supporter. Most of you know a lot about London and fuck all about Manchester. "See you saddo. Look out for our result on Saturday. Oh, I don't really need to remind you to do that do I ?" No.

1998-99 Season

One from another moron with time to waste...

"priesty, i please hope that one of my entries would make it into your logbook, but i don't think you could take everyone else seeing you lose for once, no matter what comment your dad writes for you at the end, i dare you to put this entry in and laugh at it, i haven't even checked spelling so criticize (sic) that, at least let your vast ammount of readers let you squirm out of my question: why is there no pre 90's chelsea mentioned, which bandwagon were you and your dads fancy vocabulary on that time. you would very much surprise me if you had the balls to publish this unedited (remember the spellling jokee(sic). i don't really expect you to publish this because you couldn't face losing an arguement ps off the record:that's why you wouldn't chat with me in the first place, bacause due to no-pitch similarities-your camp has met it's match and won't go any further. you don't need to publish the "ps" that's for your personal pleasure. unfortuneatly i feel inclined to resort to these low levels of maturity when i end my message with 2 words for you SUCK IT, please reply and come again" "Low levels of maturity" - I couldn't have put it any better myself. Priceless. PS: If there's anything you'd like to say to this halfwit, you can send him a nice email.

Yet another grammatically challenged entry from someone not really liking my Moan U page...

"you stupid disgusting,fucking,disturbed, piece of dog-shit! you should be strung up and shot for that webpage. and why do people wonder why god's great earth is so messed up??? its because of freaks of nature like you. you should be strung up and shot!" A classic example of constructive, articulate and positive feedback. I'm sure this piece of pond life would love to hear your view.

I'll be adding more as I receive them.

2001-2002 season: hits.