5O Ways in which YOU Can Use Your Copy Of NLW

1-A door stop

2-Rizla papers

3-Papier mache money box

4-Andrex substitute

5-Fake ID for blind landlords

6-Flying insect dispersal unit

7-Christmas gift wrap

8-Strange terrain for action man figures

9-Wall paper

10-Party hat

11-Lining your rabbit hutch

12-Lines for Starsky and Hutch

13-Scrunched up paper ball shooting practice

14-A paper plane air force

15-Improvised umbrella

16-Costume jewellery

17-Completey useless bullet proof vest

18-Birthday present for senile grandparents

19-Use it to tone up your abdominal and lower back muscles

20-Deadly ninja weapon

21-Ideal meal for unexpected guests

22-Unrealistic shotgun replica for use on easily scared bank cashiers

23-Origami giraffe (1:50 scale)

24-Shoulder pads (for power dressed look)

25-Attempt anything you have seen done by McGyver on T.V.

26-A beer mat

27-Emergency parachute in a free fall situation

28-Spread out, cover in glue, use to trap pterodactyls

29-Recycle and build into a tree

30-Hand in as an assignment in any 'A' level subject

31-Cunning disguise

32-Eat to win a drunken bet

33-Combine with a negative-universe copy on NLW to create a huge matter/anti-matter explosion

36-Forge £20 notes

37-Shred and use as a rasta wig

38-Shred and use as a grass skirt

39-Save it until 2050 AD then reap rewards of having collectors item

40-Stick it to the floor with superglue, watch people try and pick it up, laugh at humorous results

41-Stick it to people with superglue, go to casualty with less humorous results

42-Scan carefully to see where points 34 and 35 went

43-Distraction for use in Mexican stand offs

44-Defence evidence in O.J. trial

45-Adequate replacement for Peter Schmeichel

46-Travel back in time to 700 years BC and leave it as a conundrum for archaeologists

47-Cut up and use as a paper chain necklace for unimpressed lover

48-Use as a demand to the authorities when holding hostages at gun point (it'll give you valuable time to think)

49-Claim it inspired Noel Gallagher's latest piece of work

50-Read it Goddamnit!!