This is the First somewhat long narrative I have wrote...

” The First Symbolic Narrative This is the First somewhat long narrative I have wrote...

The First Narrative, wrote somewhere around late '93

Note: This is a work that has much meaning for me, there were a lot of ppl who are involved in it or rather lent me there unknowing help with it, many of them I have not seen in a long time, and there is one that I just recently found though the person has no memory of me. which is understandable, considering the circumstances. Also, this work starts roughly when i was around 13 yrs, and continues up to about when I was 16 or so, and remains incomplete from there, hence the last section. The Prologue, such as it is, isnt really a part of this narrative, but it is what started me on writing this work and as such deserves to remain as the beginning of this first narrative work of mine

A fight for life
A fight for right
A fight for no-one
and everyone involved

A war of words
A war of man
A war with no right
and no cause in it.

A cause itself, isn't
worthy of the life it ends.
only cause can worthy
if it is for the good of all.

The good of all is the good
which causes the demise of none
and the grief to no-one, the good
of all benefits all ands Harms none.

THE BEGINNING

There was a fire once,
A great, big and bright fire,
full of passion and Naiveté,
then a darkness came and a
cold descended, dimming the fire
till it was almost extinct.
Now it was only a flickering candle.
It was all that was left of the passion, of
the Naiveté, was all gone, totally obliterated,
and forever lost,
gone and destroyed.

The darkness came and the cold came
they were the minions of that that is
locked in the heart of all and overwhelms us
and takes us into the fire and forges us into a
better soul if we survive.

But the flame of the candle held onto the life of
itself and survived the coming and the ravaging by these
minions and hope remained and grew.

But a change occurred and the soul became withdrawn, full
of anger and Dark thoughts, madness at what was and that
which couldn't be changed. and the coming of now seemed full of
bleakness and forlorn in its grayness of time.

But something happened
A wonderer appeared and became
intrigued by what was hidden in the despondence
of the redrawn soul that was struggled for survival.

A friendship developed and the
Darkness abated as the emotions of
the light joined and helped each other.
A soul prospered and gained confidence and courage.

But. Atlas, this friendship wasn't to last as the friend
disappeared and became a memory, albeit a powerful one,
of what was good. Now the darkness began to spread as the light
again started to fade.

A period of darkness developed and two separate identities
developed from the encroaching darkness. One, crazy and totally
apart from the truth yet fated to become the truth. The other the
quiet, cynical, and Intelligent yet wary of all and trusting of none.

Each struggled, in their own way, for control and sometimes one came out
strongly and overcame the other but most of the time the struggle was Internal
and unseen, and left alone to their fight in the darkness and privacy.

After a while the soul
became stretched and strained and
shut down and became ill and had no thoughts of
the consequences of what was happening.

Thus the flame became smaller and then darker, there
was little will to keep it alive for it represented
that which couldn't be and that which was imagined.

The darkness spread and grew but its time was shorter
as friends helped and grew to be loved and the candle grew and
shone brighter.

The loved ones were there many a time that they were needed
to help keep back the darkness yet there was many times that
the darkness keep its vigilance and denied the true self its true light.

A word on this friend and loved one. one who was
full of rebellion and fire, also one who lived without the
deep worry and cynicism that the other carried within itself.
The loved one also had no darkness within, only light and laughter
and joy.

the darkness withered and light came into the inner self of the soul.
The divisiveness became less pronounced but it was still there, yet the
cynicalism became lighter and less visible.

A time of peace ensued and there was little to know except
friendship and knowledge and prosperity. The divisiveness was put aside
and the soul became whole again but it was still separate and different from the original..

The loved eventually left and was surrendered to memories
and locked into the heart. The darkness eventually changed and infused
itself into the light thereby losing it's power and the combination. Now
instead of the separation of light and darkness there was now a
grayness in which the soul was now no longer belonging to one the other
but to itself as it relinquished control to itself and turned from the fate that had
been set for itself.

The grayness became a melting pot and many ideas and thoughts were
resolved as the two merged. The mergence finally happened as the soul
became part of a new self and with a different awareness. Thus a
paradox developed as from the three different parts of the soul resolved
and became this new soul. This paradoxical situation was resolved for
the moment as the parts were now combined.

Interim One

Timelessness and life,
A soul's journey through
each begins with a
start through one end
a step from the other.

A soul's travel can be far and
wide or short and narrow.
It can be dull and repetitive or
interesting and exciting or
all and neither; Know that
it is your choice
choose wisely or not, that
again is a choice.

A soul's time is limited
and determined randomly
or not at all, chance
rules this one and makes
no distinction between those who
are powerful and those who are poor.

A soul's life is determined
by ability and guile and
a person's tact, a body's
fitness helps but the mind is
worth more with the soul
the center and control
of Both.

Continuation One

A soul's originality became
a creation of itself and its
divisiveness. The war between
differences was over and an
amalgam came out of the
soul, its differences reconciled
and laid aside so that it could
live and be at peace with itself.

This amalgam became a totally
different soul fro the original
it was on the outside, calm and
crazy, with a tendency to babble
and talk, and an urge to help
others.

On the outside it became neither light
nor dark but a grayness through itself.
It was full of doubt and slightly cynical,
but there was also a slight cunning mixed with
a limited intelligence.

Times changed, as they always do, and
many little events occurred and the
soul weathered through them and survived.
The soul became meditative and withdrawn
studying its past years and fate and
it had cheated her. The soul's thoughts
kept turning inward and seeking
answers from itself and others, the
others who never knew of the answers
that they gave, unknowingly.

Yet the answers led to
more questions and fewer
answers and doubts became
instinctive and bluntness and
simpleness, a means of communication.

There was the change at first subtle
and unnoticed but becoming more and
more noticeable as time and life
went on. The amalgam became more
firmly accepted and the divisiveness
became a memory.

There were differences now, the
soul's life had changed. A kind of
routine developed and boredom crept
in. A time of serious meditation came
and thoughts became a virtue and a
necessity.

Outer life was dull and repetitive and
the inner mind became indrawn again
and thoughts turned to the spiritual
rather than the practical and the
physical. A different war was raging
at this time, one between what was
fate and god and another with the
control of its own fate and destiny and
life. Another inner war was on but
outside the soul instead of within its
innermost self.

Renaissance of Religionics

Is there a god. a all powerful
being that controls everything
or is there not one?
Is this a mass hysteria or a true
fact?
Have you seen this god or is it
just trying to pass as a god?

There are those which I can't comprehend
but there's not a huge being controlling
my life. I control myself and listen
and act for my own rules and reasons.
I know there are those greater than I
But there isn't one who is the greatest of
All!

I follow my own faith, it has a name; Kair
is my life and my faith. It is my soul, my
being and my life. It is all of me, yet
more.

Kair is that which encompasses me
and those all around me, it is that which
can't be seen, yet demands nothing except
acceptance of the true and reality of the
self.

Knowing thyself and you
shall know others even unbelievers
can quote scripture.

Continuation Two

A year has past and life has changed again,
life became interesting, there was new
friends and loved ones and though
memories of past were still there, time
has healed all wounds.

There were many new ideas and a time of
prosperity in both mind, body, and soul
came. The outside was better and newer
somehow and life became brighter than
before.

It was a shorter time, as monotony intruded
and others thoughts came and intruded and
realizations of unfulfillment was realized
and accepted. There were darker thoughts
and moods and more distractions, yet they
were welcome and helped to keep the
darkness away.

After a time a decision was made, minor
for most but important for others including
myself. It helped and I came to know what
I had to do at this time.

Humility is a virtue, once accepted it is
never forgotten nor can it be used against
you. It is a wonderful tool, one that can be
used and never recognized and one that
others never suspect to be used to show
the humor in life.

Now there is the truth which can not be
told but only recognized. Now there is
truth in the humor that can found around
in the world. Also there is escape in single-
mindedness and in the babblement of life's
little inconsistencies.

Only in humor can the light's truth be full
seen and comprehended and known to those
who can see. Others can glimpse and
understand that which some can not see
nor feel nor know.

Yet the time is near and there is so little
time, to do what is necessary and right, whether
it is just or not, and no matter what
happens it is my fate and my Kair and there
is no way for I to turn aside and avoid it.
No matter what I will not for my Kair
prevents me and guides me in this
adventure called my life. I know not what I
am to do for I lost the sight a while ago. I
but live day by day and have never given
up the hope of tomorrow, no matter what
has happened and transpired in this world
of my reality.

The Gray Time

The fog of uncertainty, and the grayness of
indecisiveness and doubt. I know not the
future, only the past and the present, both
of which are untenable and unbreakable as
they change my future, my life. They are
the memories and the recollections of what
I am and what I may become.

There is an Allure to knowing what is going
to happen and it is a dangerous obsession
which few are offered and even fewer
accept.

Never has one known what will happen,
exactly, only what might happen for one's
interference can change everything and the
prophet has no knowledge of what may
happen for the future is this reality that I
call home.

There are few who want knowledge of the
future and they are the ones who seek
ultimate power and are therefore mad and
insane and to be feared because they are
the ones who will give everything for their
goals and dreams. They only know the
illusion of death and destruction, and is fed
by the delusions of the mind and its
diseased parts.

The fogs of time is gray and obscure,
the flow of time and there is nothing that
can be discerned, clearly, in the forever
ahead of you. The future has many
avenues, some good, some bad, but all
possible in the stream of time.