This interview took place on Monday, March 24th 2003. No Magic players were harmed in the making of this interview. This interview did not take place in the bathroom. 

- Adam Grayson 2003

When did you first start playing Magic?

1995 here in Frederick and you taught me.

Have you been playing Magic ever since?

Yes.

Even after you moved to Texas?

Monday night Type 1 at the Gamers Guild, which is gone now... For about a year and a half. Got some DCI points and scarred away all the little Type 2 kids with sligh decks. That's when most cards took on sexual references. ...Elves of Deep-Throating... ...Priest of Tits... ...Jigglynuts... etc... etc...

You were ranked in Texas weren't you?

I was number two for Type 1 in Corpus for a short time. Eighth for the region, I think.

Are you still?

No Idea

Ok, I want you to think back and try and remember your first deck.

*thinks for a second* Green. Llanowar Elves and a Wooden Sphere. Wooden Sphere was the shit.

I don't remember that.

Oh yeah dude, you gave me the Wooden Sphere.

Any memories on when you first started playing the game?

The time you killed me with Marjhan. The time you killed me with the Sibilant Spirit. The time you killed me with the Island Fish Jasconius. The time I had a Leviathan in play for two rounds. I remember Twiddling your Island at lunch in the cafeteria and we thought you got mana burn from it tapping. Twiddle at Prospect and the rest were at Riddle's.

The Marjhan game was in your basement...

There were many Marjhan games all ending in my death. I even made my own card in your notebook called "Capt. Ahab". Capt. Ahab, tap to destroy Marjhan. Yeah he was a 1/3...

What is your favorite card?

Hecatomb. It's one of the first rares I got, one of the first I ever traded for. Cool art kick ass power.

Favorite Color?

Black, duh.

Favorite Mechanic?

Fear. Coolest name for a card ability. Not echo me, not provoke me, not double kick me...

Favorite Artist?

The guy who did the Baron. (Pete Venters) The Baron is my second favorite card. I don't know artists that well. Rebecca Guay this, Rebecca Guay that... The guy who did Durkwood Boars. (Mike Kimble)

Favorite Set?

The Dark, the Dark.. it's Dark. There's just something about it that always appealed to me more than any other set. It sounds cool.

Alright, what's your least favorite card?

Snowfall.

Snowfall?

Snowfall. If Charmin came out with pictures on it, it would be Snowfall... single ply cardboard... I'd still wipe my ass with it.

Least Favorite Color?

Red. It's enchantments are stupid and if it's not a Goblin or direct damage there's no point.

Least Favorite Mechanic?

Echo, god...

Least Favorite Artist?

Snowfall... everything about it.. even the art. (Phil Foglio)

Least Favorite Set?

Tempest. Tempest marked the day I said no more Type 2. Shitting on oldy goldy cards...

Alright what is your current deck?

It's a Black Green Deck called "Smile, you're dead." First turn Ernham, Juggernaut,  Hippy or Mind Twist... then Berserk at the end.

What's your favorite playing format?

Type 1. One on One.

What are your thoughts on the current state of Magic?

Way down.. Grasping at straws. Especially the new design for Eighth Edition which I would not let even suck my cock.

Anything you would like to add in finishing?

Fuck the card itself. If it has good art keep it.

Thank you very much.

- Adam Grayson

My special thanks to Wes for his time.