Life at the Circus
Adventures in Retail Electronics
Life at the Circus
Adventures in Retail Electronics
Life at the Circus can be frustrating and confusing at times. One of our stated goals is to "expose our customers to new technologies." This is a challenge in of itself as, at times, it seems that a majority our customers would consider rubbing two sticks together to produce fire a "new & exciting technology." After a day of dealing with folks who constantly cause you to question the validity of Darwin's theories you go home feeling good about yourself because you didn't bitch slap them upside de haid.
Gee. I feel better already. Who knew this could be such a cathartic & therapeutic experience?
So let's talk about the daily frustrations.
Some customers are nice and a pleasure to work with. They either know what they're looking for or they're smart enough to state what they want and then let you do your job. If only each day was filled with customers like these. But we're talking about reality, right? The other customers:
Mouth Breathers : How did these guys even get to the Circus? Ya gotta think there's a bus outside that dropped these folks off because, if there's a God in Heaven, they didn't drive themselves here. They can be found standing in groups & staring at their images in the camcorders. They're a slow moving group. You just hope you don't slip on the drool that's collected at their feet. What are they doing here? You're not sure if you should say "Hi" or "Moooo."
Experts: They know everything. Their usual response is something like "Yeah, I know all about these cameras." They pick up each one as if by weighing them they'll know which one has the functions or quality they need. If they can find the "zoom" button, they'll zoom in & out several times. They're the ones who assume the picture in the viewfinder has something to do with the quality of the recorded image. Or buy a satellite system with "self-installation" kit. And call up 2 days later to find out if they can get a professional install because they couldn't find the satellite.
Brain Suckers: These guys should be shot . Plain & simple. They suck you in because you think they're actually learning enough to make an intelligent decision based on the info you're providing. They even seem to be getting excited. You've asked several closing questions and they've agreed that it's a great product that meets their needs. You've answered every question. And then they say " You've given us a lot to think about. Do you have a card?"
Clueless : These guys are hard to classify. They bought their last tv while Nixon was in office. They still think it looks "great." But it has some minor problem so they're thinking about a new one. They ask what every feature does and then ask " Why would I want that?." The proper answer to this would be "You wouldn't but perhaps someone in your family with an IQ in double digits might appreciate it."
The Circus has an amazingly generous and customer friendly return policy. As a customer I'd love it but we're talking about frustration right? And then we get a memo from Ops telling us that we're required to inform customers of the return policy or we'll get written up. Right. Like I'm going to encourage folks to to use the product for FREE for 30 days and turn into the dreaded:
Renter: A couple is standing in front of the digital camcorders. You start qualifying. "Who, what, where, when?" And they answer "Us on a vacation to Disneyland!" And before you can say "sounds like fun they say " WHAT'S YOUR RETURN POLICY?" I think a fair response to that would be "The day before YOU return."
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