TELIKO

10/19/96
Teliko
"Teliko, A Review"
by C.Schmidt ®

Opening Scene -
Um.. yeah sort of reminiscing(sp) of that new Spike Lee movie "Get on the Bus" or what ever.... Only we have an albino/Michael Jackson dead in the bus potty...

Skip to AD Skinner’s office and Scully walks in...

SKINNER: Agent Scully this is generic CDC Dr. and he has some interesting things to tell you.

GENERIC.CDC Dr.: We think we might have an epidemic in the works in the City of Brotherly Love Dr. Scully. And given your work with the FBI and your back ground...

SCULLY: You want me to look into it. Why not ask Mulder he likes doing this stuff?

SKINNER: Well this is more up your alley Agent Scully...
SCULLY: That or Chris Carter thought now is a good time to make a "Scully gets center stage and kicks butt ep!" Well just has long as I don't have to run in them damn pumps! Or crawl in some air duct or sewer and look out for cats.... I'm game!

SKINNER: Good... But the script does call for ya to crawl in some sort of tunnel. No cats but a black man with a hankering for pigment.

SCULLY: Huh??? Oh, you mean this guy sucks the blackness out of a black guy just like what the Rev Louis Fakerifan(sp) claims the 'man' and the 'system' does to the black man?

SKINNER: Something along those lines but this guy is more along the lines of a cross between 'Tooms' and the internet freak that sucked fat.

SCULLY: Oh, well that’s not very original... I mean if I get to kick butt I wanna a fresh idea for an ep! Hmmm.. maybe I should start giving CC some ep ideas like David does. I mean come on here he says... "I want a babe" And whola! Just look at this script and the season opener... New Blonde Babe! Probably going to be Mulder's main squeeze for a while... Um, no pun indented.

SKINNER: Well now that CC is off doing Millennium(sp) I doubt he has much time on his hands and would probably love it if everyone from the cast started writing eps too. I have something I've been wanting to try. It involves vampires and a showtune, think CC would like it?

SCULLY: Well he let us do that damn kitty cat ep so I don't see why not.

Skip sciences all the way to the climax. Scully is crawling in some sort of air duct thing, dragging the useless Mulder by the feet to safety....

SCULLY: Damn Mulder you need to lose some weight! Either that or stop pounding the donuts. Ok what I do next I do because it says right her in the script... Adjust my bra-strap and then let you drop several feet crashing to the floor. Then re-adjust the bras again just in case Danny boy is around... Something about keeping him all hot and bother. That or it's supposed to distract the albino/Michael Jackson wanna be... I keep forgetting which.

Mulder::...... (says nothing just moves his eyes around a bit)

SCULLY: Well aren't we just a chatter box today.. Oh, yeah forgot you got hit by that dart and are useless to me at this moment. Ok well watch out below!

Scully pushes Mulder out of the air duct/ what ever that thing is. Could be a shoe box could be a sewer, could be lots of things so Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate This is the x-files after all and there for not required to explain anything!

SCULLY: Yeah Mulder, you are the brain with words and stuff what the hell is it with this ' Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate' CC has me saying over and over in this ep anyway?? Oh, sorry forgot you are useless at the moment. Ok it's almost time for me to break out the *big* gun and kill me a monster. Um.. better quick check the bra-strap and the hair too! I do have to look hot, BTW... Oh yeah better make sure I have that stupid little cross on or all those nitpickers on the internet will be saying "Hey that dumb Gillian Anderson forgot to wear Scully's cross yet again... lets trash her on the newsgroups again!"

MULDER: .........

SCULLY: Stop making those funny eyes at me Mulder, you know I never read those stupid postings on the newsgroups unless they are about your porn past. Those are good and some of the pics they send with look so real. How come you never told me you were in the porn movies pre-x-files?

MULDER:.........

Scully whips out the *big* gun and promptly puts several slugs in the evil pigment deficient(sp) black man and saves the day... and there was much rejoicing

Closing scene -
Resembles the closing see of 'Doggie Howser, M.D. with Scully wearing glasses and typing away....

SCULLY: I like these scenes I just pretend like I'm typing no problem and do it real fast too. Of course every one then thinks I can type a zillion words a minute. HA! Little do they know the stuff is already pre-typed. Oooo I wonder if this computer has a modem and if I can go on-line, that would be nice. I want to go find some more of those porn fake pics of David again or get a peak at that speedo pic. Wish CC would make him do that again. Oh look there's that damn phrase again. Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate .....

THE END